Devotional

Today I woke up with a migrane and with that, nausea. I didn't feel like going to church but I always hate to miss it so I decided to go anyway. After feeling nauseous during the prayer time I slipped out and headed to the house. Darrell told me after church someone asked him where I was. He said that I had felt a little nauseous this morning and I went home. (You KNOW where I am going on this one???). The comment was made "is she pg?".You know, it bothers me that just because I am married it is automatically assumed that I am pg when I am sick to my stomach. Of course, being new here, the church does not know our history of infertility (IF) so people don't think about how these comments affect us.

Tie this into our movie last night, "Facing the Giants" and that comment was hard to hear. The subplot is about the coach and his wife going through IF. In the end they did get pregnant and went on to have children. I love the movie for the Christian aspect but for someone who has been through infertility, it does not always turn out that way. We struggled for 2 years to have a pregnancy. We spent countless hours in prayer begging for a child. I cried every time I found out I wasn't pg. I remember how I felt incomplete as I could not bear a child for my husband. I remember wondering if I was being punished for some reason for a sin that I had committed.
We were eventually blessed with Aimee and do you know why? I don't. It's not that God looked down on me and Darrell when we were in the midst of infertility and said "oh, there are bad past sins in their lives so I won't give them a child". God doesn't work like that. The God that I serve is a God of love and only wants the best for me.

Proverbs 3:5 states "Trust in the Lord with all your own heart and lean not on your own understanding.

Just because I believe in God does not mean that every single thing I desire is given to me. I don't understand why some teenagers have children when they are unmarried and why a married couple has to watch their first child pass away. I don't understand it at all. What I do hear God saying is to trust Him. What I have to do is to trust God for everything in my life. It means that I trust him for the good and the bad things that happen in my life. It means bottom line, I trust. Do you?

My day so far....

has been so boring.....I have 20 minutes before work is out and so I am just using that time to do nothing.....

Aimee's 5th birthday party was this past weekend and it was great! We had tons of kids come and they were not really kids that she knew. We have been away from WM for 6 years but I had invited all my old friends who have kids her age. I think I had just as much fun as she did.

Several of you have sent me a message about the pictures. Right now the camera is out of batteries and I have to go to Wal-Mart and get some. Since I hate going to Wal-Mart, I will post them later on this weekend when I can't put that task off any longer.